Suppressed Emotions and Generational Trauma in Latino Families
Have you ever heard phrases like 'You need to just get over it,' or 'It wasn’t that bad, you're being dramatic,' or even 'I’ll give you a reason to cry,' followed by 'just pray about it'? Don't get me wrong, I deeply value prayer and spiritual connection. However, these seemingly innocent remarks can actually be quite invalidating, leading to learned behaviors that stifle our ability to make space for our emotions.
In many Latino families, cultural values and traditional beliefs often make it challenging to express emotions openly. Phrases like 'Los hombres no lloran' (men don't cry), 'Aguántate' (tough it out), or 'no te pongas así' (don't act like that) echo through generations, teaching us that there's no room to feel or be anything but strong. Tienes que ser fuerte.
These phrases pressure us to quickly move past emotions, inhibiting our ability to simply be present and in tune with our feelings. Instead of rushing to find strength and solutions, we miss out on the experience of processing our emotions authentically. It's no wonder we're witnessing high levels of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges among our communities. Long-term suppression of emotions can lead to a variety of negative impacts, influencing our inner dialogue every time strong emotions arise.
This is what generational trauma looks like—the passing down of learned behaviors that negatively impact the next generation. It's time to break this cycle of emotional suppression and stop passing on the pain and stress from one generation to another. Understanding and identifying generational trauma isn’t about assigning blame to our ancestors. Instead, it’s about fostering understanding, empathy, and gentle accountability to facilitate healing.
Here are four simple steps you can take to work towards decreasing suppression within yourself and your family:
Talk About Feelings: Trust me this can get weird and uncomfortable. But by talking about your feelings and theirs, it creates a safe space where everyone in the family can talk openly about how they feel. Be sure to encourage sharing without judging or dismissing each other's emotions.
Challenge Old Ideas: Be gentle with yourself when challenging old ideas, always return to vocalizing your intention behind creating a safe space. When you hear phrases like "boys don't cry" or "just tough it out," speak up. Explain why it's important to let people express their feelings and challenge the idea that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
Show Your Feelings: Be open about your own emotions and struggles. By sharing your feelings, you show that it's okay to be vulnerable and that everyone experiences ups and downs.
Get Help if Needed: If your family is struggling to break free from old patterns, consider seeing a therapist together. A therapist can help you understand each other better and find healthier ways to deal with emotions as a family. This can be a tough one, so start out with your own personal therapist first if needed, so that you can have a safe place to explore the process of breaking the cycle.
Overcoming the generational pattern of suppressing emotions in Latino families requires us to speak up, share our feelings, and support each other. By challenging old beliefs, talking openly, showing our own emotions, and getting help if we need it, we can start to break free from this cycle. It won't happen overnight, but each step forward brings us closer to a happier, healthier family life where everyone's emotions are valued and understood. Let's keep working together to create a brighter future for ourselves and the next generation.
